How to Start a Group Chat for Your NYC Apartment Building

Large apartment buildings are a paradox of potential: a bunch of people live in extremely close proximity, but often completely closed off from one another. What could be a perfect setup for community, connection, and mutual aid often ends up being awkward greetings in the elevator and hurried head nods in the foyer as everyone rushes to their individual units and shuts the door.

When I moved to New York City two years ago, I chose to live alone for the first time in my life, wanting the real New York experience. I moved into a 46-unit building in the Lower East Side, and just like I did in college, I even left my door wide open from time to time, hoping someone would pop their head in. But without a true third space (we have no common spaces, only a laundry room and elevator), I found that it was hard to have a conversation of more than a few sentences. My neighbors seemed cool, but who were they?!

Lamenting about this to a couple friends at a party, we entered into a pact: we would all start group chats for our buildings and report to each other how it was going in the process. The sudden accountability finally motivated me over the hump: I set up my chat, made flyers, recruited people in person, and 10 months later, we have a flourishing group chat that has allowed neighbors to exchange, sell, and borrow items, come to aid in times of need (I once saved my neighbor’s cats who had locked themselves in a bathroom!), and alert about public safety (we were burglarized and the chat was key in keeping everyone in the loop).

Based on what I learned from my experience and from talking to others about this, I’d like to present an easy plan of how to go about setting up a group chat in your building.

Accountability

It really helps to have at least one other person keeping you accountable on this. So many people want to create community, but they’re not motivated to do so until at least one other person is involved, too.

Do you know anyone in your building that might want to help? That would be a first step – it’s easier than going alone.

Another option would be a pact with your friends, who all live in separate buildings, like I did with my friends.

For a digital accountability option, I’m a mentor for Cabin, an organization that is creating hundreds of resilient neighborhoods all around the world. This is right up their alley, and in fact we have a bunch of people in our Neighborhood Accelerator Program that are creating chats for their communities.

Finally, if you decide to take the plunge, leave a comment here or contact me and I’ll be your support!

How Many Units Are in Your Building?

To find out, go to StreetEasy and search your building – the number of units should be in the description. The size of your building is going to determine your strategy. A 700-unit high rise in Midtown is going to be a different sort of undertaking than a 10-unit walk-up in the East Village.

Also, the bigger your building is, the more likely it is to have an existing group chat. Keep your ear to the ground and ask your neighbors to see if something already exists. If you’ve just moved in, I recommend waiting a couple months before starting one just in case.

Finally, set a goal: getting how many people in your group chat would represent a win for you?

Pick Your Platform

I highly recommend chats over forums or email. The real-time nature of communication is critical when you’re living close together in a fast-paced city like ours.

You’re also going to want to have something someone can easily unsubscribe from, so no group texts or email chains, unless you’re in like a 6-unit complex or something, but even then, when someone moves out you have to change the thread around and it’s a hassle.

Here are some options:

WhatsApp – in my opinion, the best option for most scenarios. WhatsApp usage is rising rapidly in the United States, mainly due to group chats. Small downside: if you ever have to remove anyone, they can see that you did it, and everyone can see who joins. Everyone’s phone numbers are also visible to each other, which may not be ideal.
Telegram – the best pure chat app on this list in terms of features and UI, but many people won’t be familiar with it and you risk alienating people who won’t want to download the app. Admin actions are invisible, so if someone joins/leaves, no one will see it.
Slack – a great option if you have a huge building, as it’s the best at supporting multiple channels that people can join or leave at will. People use Slack for work, so it can come off a bit formal.
Discord – an alternative to Slack if you want a more casual, fun option for a big building. The UI is worse than Slack, though, and you can’t leave individual channels, just mute them.

Once you have your platform, make a group, give it a name, and outfit it with a photo of your building and description. If you have any co-conspirators or friends in the building you’ve told about your idea, add them first to seed the group, see how the admin interface works, and give the impression of a bigger group once people start joining.

Spreading the Word

You have a few ways to get the word out:

Individual Flyering

This is the most effective, but also potentially the most invasive. I printed up simple flyers and slipped them under doors:

Unfortunately, I only made it about 2/3rds of the way through before I got a text from my super that flyering was against the building rules. So you might want to check your rules beforehand, but also, for projects like this, it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Reminder that building management hates any attempt for residents to self-organize, as it thwarts existing power structures. Avoid involving them unless you’re absolutely sure they’re on your side. This also means that you shouldn’t be adding them to groups, and you should remove them if they somehow infiltrate. Regardless of the management-resident relationship, residents need a safe space to communicate. Notice how my flyer says “by residents, for residents”. I wanted to make sure that residents knew that it was a resident-only chat.

Some also feel that slipping flyers under doors is too invasive. To this I say: the ends justify the means. A few people might find it annoying, but they likely wouldn’t join the groupchat anyway. Those that might be a bit perturbed but would still join will get more utility out of the chat than the harm caused by the brief disturbance.

Posting on Public Bulletin Board

If you can’t flyer, or in addition to the flyer, many buildings have public bulletin boards, either physical or digital (e.g. Buildinglink). Likely you’d have to run this by management. It’s not as effective as 1-1 flyering, but likely has longer staying power, depending on how long you can keep your flyer up.

Onboarding People in Person

This is what I resorted to after my attempt at flyering was quashed. When I see people in one of our building’s few third spaces (the elevator, laundry room, or foyer), the conversation goes something like:

Me: Have we met before?
Them: I don’t think so, I’m <name>.
Me: Oh awesome, are you in the building group chat? (open looping them with a new opportunity)
Them: (usually wide-eyed with interest) There’s a building group chat?!
Me: Oh you didn’t know about that? I can add you if you want!

Then I quickly get their number and add them. If we’re in the elevator, I even get off at their floor just to make sure I’ve gotten it.

Asking People to Add Their Neighbors

Once your group gets going, send something that encourages people to add their neighbors and friends within the building. It’s best to provide them with the invitation link or QR code to remove any hurdles to adding and make sure that you’re not always having to be involved in the process.

Setting the Culture

It’s important to establish the culture of the chat early. This is done in your flyering, in-person conversations, and initial messaging. Local communities quickly devolve into gripes if positive culture isn’t set, but luckily, this is very easy to avoid.

In my flyer, I made it very clear what the chat was about. I didn’t feel the need to set “rules”, it’s too formal for a small casual chat (my building has 46 units). I decided to let the conversation flow and make small adjustments as they happened.

Once you have critical mass in the chat, start off with an intro message. I wrote: “I’m Liam and I’ve lived here since April 2022, in <unit>. I made this because this is lowkey the best building in the city and thought we could use a bit more COMMUNITY. Feel free to use this group to buy/sell/give away stuff or whatever you feel like is a good fit.”

Apart from that, people will generally follow the lead of whatever the culture is in a new group. If there’s ever anything negative, reframe it immediately to send the subtle hint that it’s a positive community for mutual aid!

Here’s what our group chat has been used for so far:

Requesting for extra space to store leftover food from an engagement party
Giving away furniture and other items
Requesting housekeeper referrals
Looking for cat sitters
Communicating among residents when our building was burglarized
Talking about our recurring ant problem
Locating lost items in common spaces

Roadblocks

In my experience convincing people to start a group chat, the blockers are mostly mental, not logistical. Here are the most common blockers:

I’m not sure if my building already has a group chat.

If you’ve been around fora bit and haven’t heard of it yet, it probably doesn’t, or if it does, it’s certainly not doing a good job of spreading, and yours will be more successful! If you’re not sure, ask some people in the building that seem to be well-connected.

My building already has Buildinglink / another platform sponsored by management.

Management has no incentive to allow residents to freely communicate. Buildinglink usually has a setting where management must approve all posts that go up, leading to delays that ruin the purpose of realtime communication.

Plus, residents will not freely express themselves if they know something is run by building management. The goal is to create a free space for residents to self-organize.

What if I’m not the right person to lead this?

You are! No one else has done it, thus you are the right person to lead this. How long has your building existed without a community? Many people probably thought idly about starting this but you’re the only one that is doing it. Thus, you are the person.

My building has mostly older folks, so I’m not sure if they’d join…

Then make a chat with just the younger folks! And if it gets popular enough, the older folks might hear about it and figure out how to join, too! You can also work with them 1-1 to install the needed apps so they can chat. It’s really important to have mutual aid for elders in the building, as they may need it most!

I’m afraid this will turn into the negativity of NextDoor.

It won’t. Set a positive culture and people will follow your lead!

26 New Building Group Chats by 2026

My goal is to inspire 26 people to create group chats for their buildings by the end of next year. Just days after posting, we already have four in progress. If this article inspired you, contact me and I’ll add you to the list! Also happy to answer any questions.